Frustration

Sometime I would really wonder whether I make the right choice being a Sahm. Recently my kids are really driving me up the wall. I don't know whether is it Javier approaching the terrible 2 stage. Nowsady when he is uphappy, he will shout at me or scratch me, not only that, he will throw things also. If he want something and I don't give it to me, he will cry and scream.

He demand my full attention all the time, he don't like me to read story to Jayden or coach Jayden in his studies. If he sees me reading a book to Jayden, he will come over and snatch the book and throw it away.

Just a while ago, I completely lose my temper and I shouted at him and whacked his backside. I feel so bad later when I see him sobbing so badly. I hugged him and rocked him to cool him down.

Today is a really bad day... I did so many things which I shoudn't have done. I cane Javier on the leg when he disturb Jayden, don't want to let Jayden eat. Everytime I know my temper is going to explode, I would told myself to calm down, to ignore Javier shouting and crying. But today is just too much le.

It really make me wonder, am I a good mother.... Would it better if I go to work... I am really in a dilemma